My Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this real slow, because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home,
so we moved I won't be able to send you the address because the
last Kentucky family that lived here took the house numbers when
they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not
sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in
and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't
bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three
days, and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; -- your Uncle Billy-Bob said
it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the big buttons on,
so we had to cut them off. You can find them in the pockets. Bubba
locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because
it took him two hours to get me and your Pa out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it
is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. It's the
dangdest thing, but the baby looks just like your oldest brother.

Uncle LeRoy fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull
him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated;--
he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bubba was
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other
two friends, Cletus and Buford, were in the back. They drowned
because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the
normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,

Mom

LOL too damn funny!!

that was so funny...lmao lmao

Thank you for sharing.

hunnie

You all are quite welcome!! I saw this and couldn't resist sharing!!
Have a good day!!